Both the Light and the Darkness
by tinylexie
Summary: Darken Rahl overhears Kahlan telling Alice that she intends to use her baby to bring Richard back. Darken Rahl decides to confront his reluctant wife.


"I need to rest."

That's what you told me, Kahlan,

And I granted your request.

I did not have to be so considerate

Of your needs,

But I want to make you happy,

Just like you have made me happy.

When you denied me before our marriage,

I could have taken you anyways.

You would have been powerless against me,

But I chose not to touch you.

I placed you in my dungeon,

Something that I had not wanted to do.

Queens don't belong in dungeons,

And you are the Queen of queens, Kahlan.

I would have left you alone in my dungeon.

I would not have touched you.

Then, you decided

That you wanted to talk to me.

Don't you see that I waited for you, Kahlan?

Don't you see that I was considerate of you?

I could have just thought of my own needs,

But I did not.

You are now my wife, Kahlan,

And a husband

Should not always place his needs

Above the needs of his wife.

For a relationship to truly work,

Both the husband and the wife

Have to be willing to give to the other.

I gave your people peace and healing, Kahlan.

You will soon give me a heir.

Is not compromise a nice concept?

It's amazing what you can do

With the power of compromising.

Why, our compromise ended the war.

Who would have ever thought

That ending a war could be as simple

As exchanging a few sentences?

Right now, though, Kahlan,

You are trying to break our compromise.

I really love how you rest, my dear.

Your idea of resting is plotting murder.

I already knew, Kahlan,

That you were obsessed with the Seeker,

And that your life revolves around him.

I know about the bond

Between a Seeker and his Confessor.

Why else would you have gone

Into the Con Dar

On his behalf?

I also already knew

That Confessors are more than willing

To make sacrifices.

Do not female Confessors

Murder male Confessors

As soon as they are born?

Oh, yes, Kahlan,

You know just as much

About making sacrifices

As I do.

I sacrificed all the babies in Brennidon.

Now you are willing to sacrifice our childJust so that you can have your lover back.

You would ask our child to become nonexistent.

Don't you realize, Kahlan,

That if our child does help the Seeker

To return to the time

Where you and him were attempting

To use the Boxes of Orden against me,

Our child would have never been born?

Our child was not conceived

Until after the Seeker was far in the future.

I'm not surprised, Kahlan,

That you want to murder me.

You've already made it clear

That you despise me.

I also know that you are willing

To make sacrifices

When you deem it necessary,

But I never thought

That you would hate our child so much

That you would want to sacrifice it.

Don't get me wrong, Kahlan,

I don't hate you for that.

I am also willing to make sacrifices

When they are necessary.I could never condemn you, Kahlan,

Even though you condemn me so easily.

You call me evil,

But you don't realize

That you have a dark side as well.

You are both the light and the darkness, Kahlan.

You can so loving and so compassionate,

But you can also be so cold and so hard.

You love the Seeker so much

That you would sacrifice your own child,

Your own flesh and blood.

Then, you turn around and condemn me

For sacrificing innocent people.

We are not so different, Kahlan.

We are, in fact, alike in many ways.

You think I enjoy killing.

While I don't usually allow it to affect me,

I rarely take pleasure from killing.

I would be just as happy

If I never had to kill again.

I know that you also

Don't enjoy killing, Kahlan,

Or take any pleasure from it.

You just do what is necessary

To meet your goals,

Just like I do.

You are both the light and the darkness, Kahlan.

I love you, Kahlan,

For both your ability to love

And for your ability to hate.

I love you

For both your light and your darkness.

You and I are the same, Kahlan.

We are both composed of light and darkness.

True, I can be merciless at times,

But have I not demonstrated to you

On numerous occasions

That I am also capable of being gentle and kind?

I am both the light and the darkness,

Just like you are, Kahlan.

Yes, Kahlan, my love,

I heard every word

That you said to Alice.

I remember hearing Alice say

That her parents had fought

For the Resistance.

Her parents had fought against me,

And she seemed to be proud of them

For doing that.

Yet, I still allowed her to be your maid.

I could have punished her

For her parents' crimes against me,

But I didn't.

Am I really as evil

As you make me out to be, Kahlan?

If I was so evil,

I would murder you

Before you could murder our child,

But I'm not going to do that.

I understand you, Kahlan,

And I can't help but feel sorry for you.

You don't want to sacrifice our child for yourself.

You expect me to murder you

After our child is born,

Which I'm not going to do.

If I had thought so little of you, Kahlan,I would have taken you to my bedchamber

Without any consideration to you,

Which is something I did not do.

My poor, loving Kahlan,

You want to sacrifice our child

For the Seeker's sake

And for his sake only.

The Seeker is your hero, Kahlan,

Your only reason for living.

You are only giving me a heir,

So that you can later murder it

Not for your own benefit,

But for the benefit of the Seeker.

You would be much happier, Kahlan,

If your life did not revolve

Around the Seeker.

You would be much happier

If you allowed yourself to realize

How much I love you.

Is the Seeker really worth this much agony?

Is he really worth making you miserable

Until the time comes

When our child can return him

To the time when you last saw him?

You can smile around me, Kahlan.

Would the Seeker be upset with you

For not always hating me?

Would the Seeker be upset with you

For saying a kind word to me now and then?

Why should only the Seeker's needs matter?

What about your needs, Kahlan?

Don't you want to be happy?

Is the Seeker worth you losing your happiness?

Is the Seeker worth you

Becoming a murderess, a monster?

Is the Seeker really worth more

Than our child's life?

You are a cold and hard woman, Kahlan,

But I do not condemn you.

All your dark planning and plotting

Is for the love of a man.

It's not because you enjoy it

Or take pleasure from it.

You are not an evil person, Kahlan.

You are just misguided in many ways.

You are both the light and darkness.

You have mostly been my darkness, Kahlan.

You have shown no tenderness towards me,

Even though I have tried my best

To be tender towards you.

Yet, you have also been a source of light for me.

You became my wife, my queen,

And you gave me pleasure in bed.

You allowed me to lie with you.

You will soon give me a child, a heir,

Someone who I can love,

And someone who will love me in return.

Love is what I truly desire, my dear Kahlan,

And you will be the one

To finally give me that.

I love you, Kahlan,

For both your light and your darkness.

What are you going to be for our child, Kahlan?

Are you really going to be its darkness?

Are you really going to go though with your plan

To murder your own flesh and blood?

Are you really going to despise our child

As much as you despise me?


End file.
